MONDAY JANUARY 1ST 2001
Nice snowy day. I went with Heather to her family’s house at 10am where I watched college bowl games and ate till I was full. I don’t like black peas. Heather rented some movies and it was dark by the time we got back to the apartment. I figured out the tempos to half of the songs we’re learning then Matt called with the latest. He’s moving in with Marty and our first real rehearsal is tomorrow. Will it be the beginning of something good or the end? I will know soon. What else can I foreshadow? Money! $542 goes out tomorrow. I don’t even have my real checks yet! What a normal life I lead. I am a leader!
TUESDAY JANUARY 2ND 2001
I am so irresponsible! I suck! I forgot to set my alarm last night! 3 and a half hours late! Luckily there wasn’t much to do so it didn’t matter but still. It didn’t help that my dreams made me think it was Wednesday and that I didn’t have to be to work. Kelly and Jay were no shows for tonight’s rehearsal. I think Kelly is out of town but Jay? We will probably have to find a new bass player anyway. He’s too busy. Josh was there and responsible as always. He communicates well. I really hope he maintains the interest. I really hope there is a full band tomorrow. Matt and I ate Heather’s spaghetti as we wrote letters to Brad.
FRIDAY JANUARY 5TH 2001
On Wednesday I drove around with Matt all day taking care of business. I’m still sore from lifting at the YMCA. Wednesday night we practiced without a bass player yet again. Josh and I jammed today. It was a good time. Tonight I went with Heather to her brother’s Homecoming court basketball game. Pretty girls. Who’s 23 years old?
SATURDAY JANUARY 6TH 2001
I like Joani. I am happy when I see her. She never talks about her boyfriend. Hmmm? Noon practice. New bass player…as busy as any other…but damn he was good. I hope I didn’t discourage him with my lack of soul. I’m doing an alright job pretending that I enjoy the music we are doing. Matt, Marty and I watched an amazing typical band at Opryland.
SUNDAY JANUARY 7TH 2001
LONG DAY! I was the first one at the rehearsal space at noon. When Josh didn’t show, Matt, Kelly and I went to a sports bar and watched the second half of the Titans terrible playoff LOSS! I’m a Raiders fan all of a sudden. Josh had overslept. By 5pm practice was underway. I did a bad job pretending today. We’re almost done learning the old crap. The new crap should be a new experience that I pretend to look forward to. I have dozens of things I’d like to write about but I’m not going to. Every entry since Montana has been a disgrace!
TUESDAY JANUARY 9TH 2001
I like to cut mats…a lot! David gave me mock orders for mat cuts and I’d do ‘em and it was cool! I should be certified by Friday. My camera broke! DARN IT! Yesterday I had an appointment to meet with a “professional” drummer dude but he cancelled. Oh well! Yet another bass player tomorrow. Hot girls everywhere…so alone. I almost ended the entry like that but that would’ve been too pathetic. Bean just arrived at Battle School. I like to read. Yesterday I went to practice drums but instead I went deaf listening to “Scenes from a Memory” through the new PA. I like good music. Heather did an amazing job making a cover for my “Change of Seasons” CD this evening. I like playing with photos.
FRIDAY JANUARY 12TH 2001
I’ve been working and practicing constantly. I finished my framing certification test today. I hope I get a raise soon. The North Dakota gig is coming up quick. January 30th! I pray my van is up for it. We also have another “Graham Central Station” show before we go so we can be judged again. I wouldn’t classify myself as an impressive “pocket” player just yet.
SATURDAY JANUARY 13TH 2001
Whew! Practice was decent today. Work was a madhouse. Everything is on schedule for the big trip…except a damn bass player! We all gave the last dude a thumbs down. We hope to be traveling under the name “Bad Astro”…if Tom allows it. Ashley was over this evening. She made spaghetti. I got my checks.
MONDAY JANUARY 15TH 2001
Sunday was spent in the rehearsal room. Another bass player flop. He was really good and interested and short but he wasn’t willing to travel! I worked from noon to nine today. I probably shouldn’t say anything but I’m planning on asking Joani out. She is single. I know this because I was talking to Matt the assistant manager and he said “Joani needs a boyfriend…hint, hint.” I wonder if she has expressed an interest in me to him? He didn’t know that I like her…but I do. I may ask her to come to the “Graham Central Station” gig but then again…we may not be too impressive. Oh, I have a sinus infection damn it! Oh, the Raiders lost damn it! I am a NY Giants fan all of a sudden. I really don’t want the Ravens to win the Super Bowl.
TUESDAY JANUARY 16TH 2001
My cabeza! It’s feeling better now but all day was a painful drag. I nearly called off work but I can’t afford to. David and Rhonda sure are characters. Lisa says I “play too much” while Ashley says that I act older than I am. I told that to Lisa and she said “You seem mature until you open your mouth.” It all matters not. Heather is stressing out about her decision to move to New York to be with Ross. She’s afraid that her mom might explode. I have no answers only a question: How old is Heather? She’ll be 22 this year. I think her mom needs to come to terms. I just thought of something I wanted to write about but I forgot what it was. Hmmm? I wrote to Matt and Kevin tonight. That’s not it. I’m just about halfway through the book and it’s slow but satisfying. Hmmm? I can’t think of it. Damn! I didn’t eat well today. Hard to swallow. That’s IT! I don’t like taking medication. I feel like I’m disrespecting my immune system. I have a sense of pride now that the symptoms are decreasing. I am that much more strong. Way to go fellas. I’m disrespecting all of my systems by not eating right.
WEDNESDAY JANUARY 17TH 2001
Late for work…forgot to set the alarm! Miserable, irritating customers filled my day with the opposite of joy. Enough about that. Ashley was here when I returned from going off on my drums. It’s fine with me if she sees me as just a friend but if she sees more, and I am suspicious, then let it be! What about Joani? I will ask her out. This is turning into a girly diary isn’t it? Sorry. I will try not to write about Ashley anymore but I’m so used to it.
THURSDAY JANUARY 18TH 2001
Day off. The rain helped me cancel all outdoor responsibilities. I did my laundry. I played with photos. I listened to Dream Theater. I learned the songs we were supposed to play tonight but we didn’t because we auditioned a fat bass player who turned us down because we “aren’t the real deal yet.” Thanks. Spaghetti and Vernors at Marty’s.
FRIDAY JANUARY 19TH 2001
Darn it all! I am pathetic! I do not know how to let someone know that I like them…let alone ask them out! Joani told me that she broke up with her boyfriend and I was speechless. It would have been tacky to ask her out right after she tells me she’s single wouldn’t it? Here is part of my problem: I don’t like being typical. I want a unique story. I thought of many unique ways to ask her out while I was alone in the frame shop but I also want to be spontaneous. I’ve thought about it too much. Anyway, I mentioned that she’s complicated. I want to know her better. Her complications seem compatible with mine. Here’s another reason it’s difficult for me to ask girls out: I think about it so much that I feel like a crazy person and anything verbal would just make it known that I’m weird. But couldn’t that also be flattering? I lack no confidence in my present situation so I’m glad that I get to find out what other excuses I make. I actually had fun at practice today! Nathaniel is our bass player as far as I’m concerned. Oh, Tom is a prickle head. I guess he yelled at Matt because I haven’t had drum lessons yet. I have appointments for Monday and Tuesday. I hope I can be typical enough for him. I really do so he’ll get off my case and I can play like a madman. Oh! My attempt at asking Joani to come to the “Graham Central” show was sad. I actually told her NOT to come because we wouldn’t be entertaining. I guess I was hoping she would want to go anyway but she said she’ll come see us when we’re good. Maybe that’s a good thing. Ashley and Heather insist on coming to the show. Josh doesn’t want to do it. He, like me, wants to be proud of the act first. My VS1680 is gathering dust in the corner. It is snowy outside. The Tennessee drivers are crashing all over because they are too careful (paranoid). I don’t know how I feel about this journal turning into a diary.
SATURDAY JANUARY 20TH 2001
Did I say that I am pathetic? Well, I was right! DAMN ME!!! Okay, enough abuse. Worked till 3pm, came home, thought about what I should do about Joani if anything then Ross called and persuaded me to go back to Michael’s and do my part. My knees were weak as I stared at the paint thinking of a way to let her know that I like her. I decided to just talk to her and hope it would come up. It didn’t. In fact I am pretty sure she has lost interest if she ever had any. I am good at creating and maintaining awkward silence. I sped home in a fit then went with Matt to a writer’s night. Much laughter was directed at my ability to make a girl realize I am pathetic. I think I would actually crumble if I ever asked a girl out. Sure everything I could have said came to me later. I seriously wanted to cry. My face is filled with goo…
MONDAY JANUARY 22ND 2001
…Because my cold won’t quite go away. Can’t stop coughing! Yesterday was really good. Nathaniel is really good…but he can’t go to North Dakota with us! We will play with yet another bass player on Wednesday. Will we be ready? I doubt it. Be positive? HEY! Wouldn’t it be nice if I stopped being stupid about females? Who would I be? Me. I don’t know him very well because he’s constantly thinking of what he should do or should’ve done…not what he is doing. Thanks Yoda!
WEDNESDAY JANUARY 24TH 2001
Still coughing! Only at night. I hope it doesn’t wake Heather up. Well, I am not looking forward to playing out this weekend. New bass player today was cool but we are FAR from tight. I met with the “professional” drummer yesterday. He showed me some things I need to work on. He was nice. I’ll know soon if I have enough “pocket”.
SATURDAY JANUARY 27TH 2001
Heather just reminded me that I failed to ask Joani to come to the show tonight. I kick myself. On Thursday we practiced ALL day. The new bass player learned all the songs but we still weren’t close to tight. I wasn’t nervous about judgment night because I chose not to think about it but after work on Friday it got worse. Bass player canceled. Bronchitis. It actually turned out for the better. We got one of the other bassists we tried out to fill in. Mark…really good…really short…can’t travel. He was great! Tonight we do the same only Tom won’t be studying us. He seemed to accept my not quite perfect drumming. He said we were 80% better. He doesn’t approve of Kelly at all. He’s trying to get us two more weeks out west but Kelly can’t stay away that long. That’s why Tom doesn’t like him. Anyway, Josh impressed…so we leave tomorrow. Little Mark can’t go…Kelly can’t make all the dates…I could use the extra $900. If I thought about my money situation I would probably stress.
