SATURDAY MARCH 3RD 2001
Music! On Wednesday I worked. Thursday I recorded two of Ross’ songs. They sound pretty lousy for the most part. He’s putting bass on ‘em right now. It’s Dave’s bass. He called me the other day to see if I wanted to audition for a country band with him. Of course I’m not too interested but I appreciated the offer so tonight we jammed at Josh’s house. Josh’s friend LeRon gave me some things to think about while playing. He’s an awesome drummer. When I got to work today I had been thinking a lot about Joani and whether or not she thinks of me. Then I saw the note she left for me and did what it said: I had a good day. Norah had lots of drama to keep me entertained. It would be nice to write more but there’s my pillow.
FRIDAY MARCH 9TH 2001
I can’t keep up! Ross left this morning without any new recordings. Chris has been here since Wednesday. We’re going to get in the van now and drive to Toledo. I should be back by…
TUESDAY MARCH 13TH 2001
What should I write first? There’s a lot to tell. I guess I’ll write about something I’ve been thinking about lately. Why is it necessary for me to let other people shape my life? Every entry I write is about people. “People need people” I wrote. Why? I’m no exception though sometimes I’d like to be. Sometimes I am an exception and I enjoy my company alone but the truth is…I don’t know what the truth is. I know that I contradict myself constantly. Example: At the bar, between sets, people ask me why I go sit by myself…why don’t I have fun. I do. I don’t need people to have fun. What a crock! But it’s true. I’d like to make a record of recent experiences…most of which involve people…
THURSDAY MARCH 15TH 2001
I put my head down after writing that last sentence. Dave just called. The country band parted ways and the tour that I never mentioned and never got to audition for (South Pacific, $1100 a week) is void. One of the singers may still try to go. I’m really just interested because I really like playing with Josh. I need to make plans to sell my van. I was going to let Newbold take it over for my $1000 deposit back but he wasn’t willing to pay it. I have to go to work now. [later] Joani gave me her old camera! I think I need to see a shrink. Either that or just figure out how to stop thinking ridiculous thoughts on my own. Thoughts such as “Joani this, Joani that…” and “Ashley this, Ashley that…” Neither girl suites me…yet I go on trying to convince myself otherwise. When will I meet the girl that I desire without question? Ever? That is not something I constantly think about but it is the reason I constantly think about the other nonsense. I felt light headed at work today. Retail makes me sick! The weather this afternoon was marvelous! After work I helped Kathy (cool Hawaiian girl, Joani’s roommate) jumpstart her car in the rain. I like tapping on my drums here with the pads on ‘em. They can be pretty quiet. Oh, I visited Toledo last weekend. I played catch with Dad, took Squirrel to Wildwood, hung out with Brian Ray, hung out with Carrie, gave Mom a ceramic Indian I bought in North Dakota, played “Act One” with Chris, Nick and Kevin and went to Michael’s to see the new frame shop. I may work there again someday soon. I’ve tried to contact Ty while I’m still in Nashville but she has vanished. I work many hours the next couple days.
FRIDAY MARCH 16TH 2001
What a kick ass good time it is jamming out at Josh and Robin’s on Friday nights! LeRon is such a cool guy letting me use his drum set. I was late getting there tonight because Jennifer Love Hewitt was on Leno. I’ve been playing phone tag with Ashley for the past couple days. I have something she wants…a frame. Heather should be back from New York on Monday.
SATURDAY MARCH 17TH 2001
I bought the book Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling a few weeks ago because Josh praised it highly. I thought about starting it tonight but instead I read words I wrote one year ago. It’s 4am! I framed well today getting the shop three days ahead of schedule. Off tomorrow! Ashley came in today. She pinched me because it’s St. Patrick’s Day and I didn’t have green on. I guess her boyfriend isn’t really her boyfriend anymore so she’s being pretty nice to me. I’m not getting my hopes up. All that time trying to convince myself that she’s not someone I could be with has paid off. I’m only writing about her because she’s a character in this book and…oh who am I kidding? If she called and asked me to come over right now I’d be there in an instant. Not that she would actually do that. It’s Rossell’s birthday. I didn’t call. How nice of me. His kidney is at 20% but he must be sicker to do the transplant so they can judge its progress…or something.
SUNDAY MARCH 18TH 2001
Slept in as long as I could…which was pretty long. The sun was shining but I didn’t take advantage of it. I didn’t do anything that I planned to do today. I tried to justify my stupidity quite a bit. I constantly conclude that “I am not a painter” though I want to paint. I don’t want to be a “drummer” though I love to play. I don’t want an area of expertise is what I’m saying. What do you want to be when you grow up? A kid. I come across much more sensitive in my writing than I really am…or is it the other way around? I wonder how these words would come across to somebody else? I have no clean socks.
MONDAY MARCH 19TH 2001
It’s 3:30am and I just finished doing my laundry. Ross called a bit ago for Heather but she’s sleeping. I wanted to talk but couldn’t think of anything to say so I went back to reading Harry Potter. I feel bad that I told Ross we’d record while he was here but it just didn’t work out. He probably thinks I’ve given up. Have I? Heather is in very high spirits about moving to New York. I hope things really are as good as she hopes they’ll be. The airport sounds like it is 10 feet from my window! I am liking the book so far. It is more or less a children’s book so it is right at my level. Oh, I got Grandma’s newsletter and I talked to Mom. Kevin is in San Diego visiting Matt.
TUESDAY MARCH 20TH 2001
I’ve decided to write this entry at the start of the day. In other words: This is a prediction of how today will go by. At 9:30am I awoke to a knock at the door. It was the electricians here to fix the outlet in the hall. They turned all of the power off so my alarm was no longer set for 11:30am. Chris called from San Diego to tell me that he, Kevin and Murnen will have a layover in Nashville from 2pm to 5pm. I called work to see if I can go hang out with them for that time. No problem. I still have to be to Michael’s at 1pm so David and Rhonda can take their break. It is noon now. Ashley just called and we talked for a while. She is trying to be simple she says…which makes her all the more complicated. It seems as if she is finally completely in the friend zone. At work a beautiful girl came in and gave me her phone number. I picked up Chris, Kevin and Murnen at the airport then we went driving through the secret underground tunnels. Someone had planted a bomb under the capitol building but I cut the correct wire just in time. Then we ate at Cracker Barrel. After work Ashley came over and I found that I was mistaken about the “friend zone” thing. I would like to spend more time with the bullshit prediction but I must be on my way to work. [later] We ate at TGI Friday’s at Opry Mills not Cracker Barrel. I followed Kathy home after work because she was afraid that her car would stall in the rain. It didn’t. Oh, Heather is moving out on April 15th (Easter Sunday). I will be staying with Wayne for a bit. I’m not worried about locking my door. He’s harmless.
WEDNESDAY MARCH 21ST 2001
I’ve been content lately. Rather carefree. My nose has been itchy though. I didn’t have to be to Michael’s until 3pm today. I was scheduled at 1pm but we had to cut back hours.
FRIDAY MARCH 23RD 2001
The sun is so bright that I can’t make out the sculptures on the Parthenon. I can see two people making out though. Get a room! I walked around Centennial Park for the past half hour looking for a place to relax in the sun and write in peace but failed to find one. So here I sit at a picnic table directly in front of the Parthenon. I’d like to go in and see the art but it’s too nice outside…and it costs money. The past couple days have been typical. I wish I would’ve gotten up before 1pm today! Besides all of the noise, it is wonderful out here! Yesterday I put the seats back in my van and entered it into the “Wheels and Deals” magazine. Wayne went with me. I threw my back out pretty bad while attempting to lift a seat on my own. It still hurts pretty bad. Pretty soon the shadow of the Parthenon will reach me and I will be forced to move. The hottest girl ever just went inside! She caught me staring! Oops. I guess Ashley says that I am the only person she would like to live with when the semester is over. Last night Heather tried to convince me that I should do it but I told her how silly I am. Ashley hasn’t mentioned it to me herself so I haven’t really considered it. Well, I’m off to Michael’s to get paid.
SATURDAY MARCH 24TH 2001
Norah quit today. Rhonda had left her a rather bossy note that she didn’t appreciate one bit. Yesterday I slept when I got home until I heard a car crash on Briley Parkway. I went to investigate but learned nothing except that the grassy areas between exit ramps are neat to walk through. I ended up going back to Centennial Park to a little bar called “Springwater” to see Josh and LeRon play. I had a much more intimate visit with the Parthenon in the middle of the night. I must wake up soon to work Norah’s shift tomorrow. I like being hugged by Joani. She got rear ended at a stoplight today. The damage to her truck was pretty bad but she says she’s fine. I was glad to hear that she and her boyfriend are talking again…then she said that she still wants to hang out with me. I just got mad at myself for writing about this. I’ll stop. I need not question a friend’s intentions. Goodnight.
SUNDAY MARCH 25TH 2001
MONDAY MARCH 26TH 2001
I fell asleep after writing yesterday’s date. I worked with Lisa yesterday. She sure likes to pry but that’s okay. After work I went with Kathy to Applebee’s. She got me to confess that I have feelings for her roommate. She brought photos to work for me to see so I invited her over to the apartment to see mine. She’s one of the most goodest peoples I’ve ever known. This morning my alarm went off at 10am because I was planning on fixing up my van with Wayne but I was way too tired. At 1pm I called work to tell them I’d be a little late. David informed me that I was scheduled at 10am! SHIT! I worked till 4pm then went with Kathy to take pictures at the Percy Priest Dam. We walked through some thick woods and by the time we reached the dam the sun had set. Katya was our waitress at Ruby Tuesday’s. It was a nice time. I had my High School graduation gown on all day because I thought David would appreciate it. I best be on time tomorrow. Harry Potter is creative and amusing.
TUESDAY MARCH 27TH 2001
I was actually on time today! [one hour later] Since I wrote the last sentence I’ve been thinking of what I do and don’t want to write about and how to write it or not. I know I don’t want to write about what I’m trying not to think about. I could write about how cool David is and how I hope to do some recordings with him before I move to I know not where. I’m thinking about getting a globe of the earth, spinning it, closing my eyes and stopping it with my finger pointing at the location I will move to. Today I closed at 9pm and was out of there early because Matt was closing manager. I talked to Mom and Kevin and everything is good there. I went to Kroger with Heather and unlocked the front door just to irritate her…she’s a fraidy cat. I could write about the bitch at Taco Bell that wouldn’t let me have a .93 cent taco for .90 cents. It was all I had.
THURSDAY MARCH 29TH 2001
The past two days have been good. Cloudy but good. Yesterday I fixed up my van with Wayne’s help then went downtown with Heather to take photos. It was fun. Normal night at Michael’s. Today I was off. I developed my film at Walmart and got a Star Wars dude. I can’t believe Joani gave me her old camera. The pictures turned out decent. I stopped at a driving range but when I got halfway to the shop I realized that I don’t have any golf clubs! I watched the herd of snails out in the courtyard for a long time. They don’t like when I touch them. I enjoyed music and photos the rest of the night. I did my laundry too. Matt called and offered me an opportunity should it actually follow through. Country singer, 3 countries, 2 months, $6000! I am anxious to get the details.
FRIDAY MARCH 30TH 2001
I was at Nicole’s house in my dream last night. She wasn’t there but her dad was showing me around the underground tunnels he designed. Along the way there were framed photos of Nicole here and there but in her room there were pictures of ME! I told the dream to David at work and he thinks I should find her address and just show up. I would really like to do that but I’m not completely crazy! This morning there was a note telling me to stop using Heather’s soap. I didn’t know I had been. Oops! Joani came in to work as I was leaving. I was completely nervous! What’s the deal? I guess it’s because I know for a fact that she knows I like her yet she is unavailable…yet she still flirts with me. She has to know that when she intentionally crashes into me I won’t easily dismiss it as merely a friendly gesture. Maybe I am completely crazy! Matt gave me the rundown of what this tour is all about. I called the singer when I got home from work. She should call me back tomorrow. I took a nap till 10pm then went to Josh’s where I listened to them play some funky shit for hours. I never did get to sit in on a tune.
SATURDAY MARCH 31ST 2001
The country lady did not call me back! I was a half hour late for work but I figured it would be fine because Shena was there…she wasn’t. Oops! I took some large orders today. I just set my clock an hour ahead. It’s almost 3am. I met Heather at “Hollywood 27” after work to see the new Ashley Judd movie. Chick flick! I just got an email from Lance Corporal Oliger. He has hopes of being deployed to foreign lands. I do too.
